a few thoughts that came up my mind

Okay.........I am in Elstal, close to Berlin, and study Theology at a seminary for more than 6 weeks now.
Honestly, I didn't expect it being the way it turned out to be. But, thinking about it: did I expect anything at all???
I actually don't think I did.

All I knew was: God had placed me here, wanted me here and I wasn't gonna stay in Texas. I did not really expect anything from my studies at seminary except it empowering me to work for God's glory. 'I just need the degree' that's what I thought. I was and am so ready to go out into the world and work for him, to fulfill my dream and move to Texas, find a church and work there.
But this is just the first glance.......the second one says: you need more knowledge, a lot more knowledge to be able to speak, you need some more time to mature, you need to work on yourself a lot more as well and, why don't you ask God why he put you there in first place???

A lot of people here at seminary asked me about my story, like, why I wanna study theology and why I came to this seminary.
All I could say was: 'God called me into ministry and I followed. My first impression of this seminary when I visited it in November 2008 was not too good. It is outside the city and really quiet. You barely saw people around and there was just nothing. I didn't wanna go here.'
To that they asked me: and now? What do you think now?

I found the perfect quote to answer that question, a quote that really expresses my situation:


'I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.'
(Douglas Adams)


Yes, I am where I was send to. I just don't know why here.
Is it to teach me patience? Is it to make me sensitive to God speaking? Is it because there is something waiting here for me to be done? Is it because I would've failed studying in the US?

I don't know. And it is not intended for me to know. Not yet.
Why? Well, if it was, I would know it already.

I need to remind myself over and over again that God is in control, he is the one to guide me and to reveal the next step or a part of his plan.
And especially remind myself that God is good and his plans are good.

yeah, it sounds easy.....but it is not, I know. There is so much I would love to do instead, where I would love to be.....
I am really impatient with some things and myself.

So I am thankful for everyone who reminds me that not in my, but God's time, He will give me what my heart desires and what I cannot see yet: that being obedient is the right thing to do and that following wherever God leads me is the best that can happen to me.